This week I met a female rapper called Justine Beaver...

Ever feel like you're being punk'd? Myself and my friend Shane were walking in Stanley Park when we were approached/assaulted by an energetic young woman and her Asian man-friend. Both were dressed in bright running gear and Cheshire cat grins. Apparently they were filming some footage of themselves playing Frisbee as part of an audition tape for a TV show 'The Amazing Race' but they couldn't get the shots they wanted and could we record some for them a little bit please they'd be ever so grateful and here's the camera it's on a tripod but it doesn't have to be thanks! *deep breath*

I don't know what it is about us, but we keep getting approached by people to do stuff like this. Anyway, joking aside, I was happy enough to help out and filmed their over zealous sporting endeavors, as they hammed it up for the camera and generally acted North American. It was in the barrage of conversation after this that we found out the girl in question, Mariee, had an alter ego, Justine Beaver, who raps whilst kitted out in a beaver suit. Thanks to the marvel that is my Internet phone, I proceeded post haste to youtube where I found that this was actually true! And far from being in the slightest bit embarrassed about this, Mariee/Justine treated us to an impromptu rendition of part of the song as it played on my phone.

Apparently Beliebers aren't the biggest fans of Justine, which makes the whole thing even better. We were handed two satsumas as a reward for helping out and walked away feeling a bit like the folks in this gif:

The new Ke$ha songs are (unsurprisingly) bangin' choons

Whenever I tell people I genuinely like Ke$ha, they think I'm being a wind up merchant. I'm not. I'm really not. As the 'pop music I like' section on this blog has stated over and over again, I love annoying girls rapping in a sing song voice about partying, and the Ke$hmeister is the be$t in the bu$iness.

It's not even a looks thing, the 'David Bowie in a blonde wig' look never really did it for me. So seeing photos of miss Kesha Sebert in her graduation photo do not horrify me as much as they might.

Do not particularly want without all the glitter either

Moving on, the first single of new album WARRIOR, is the song Die Young, a catchy ditty that furthers the themes expressed on Animal. This theme, as you might have guessed is partying, having fun and living in the moment. In other words #YOLO. And this is the (marketing) genius that is Ke$ha (or at least the team behind her). She 'gets' it. Young ppl liek fun.

A lot has been made, by the top heads that are Youtube commenters, of the imagery in the video (inverted cross, triangles etc). Apparently there is some srs business behind this stuff, I just think she is tapping in to the Madonna/Lady Gaga style of presentation. While the four chord intro is similar to a plethora of songs (the first to mind is Va Va Voom by Nicki Minaj) the tempo drop of the drum chorus is pretty sweet as a buildup into the dance part, right?

Even better (if that's possible!?) is 'C'mon', which has been posted as an audio track online. While the chorus isn't as banging as I'd like, the vaguely faux-reggae verse and DAT SING SONG RAP!

I've only listened to it about 3 times so far so I'm hoping the chorus grows on me. Pumped for the album! Srs.

Is Nicki Minaj trollin' or what's the shtory?

While I'm usually all for infuritating girls who can't quite sing or rap and do a horrible mix of the two Nicki Minaj has taken it to another level with 'Stupid Hoe'.

Good goth, my ears just vomited. Srsly, what is this atrocity? I've been a recovering pop music rageaholic for a while now and actually like a lot of what I hear on the radio to some of extent but this..thiiiiissss.... I'm sucking rageahol straight from the bottle as if it's oxygen.

• The opening 'wooo, wooo, wooo' aghhhffuuuuuuuu
• Wtf is she even saying?
• English, bitch. Use it. Even internet-speak would be okay.
• 00.48 - 00.58 - Humanity is a disease.
• Dat chorus.

I forced myself to listen to the rest of it. I can see myself telling this story to a pyschiatrist some day.

Is it me or does the new Ting Tings song sound like a rap metal choon?

Anyone who knows me knows my penchant for sing-song rap songs by
female pop stars who desperately want you to believe they are bad role
models (via ke$ha and Millionaires) and my early teenage musical taste
that included rap metal like RATM and Limp Bizkit.

The more infuriating the sing-song rap is to tr00 music fans the
better and therefore I’m loving the new Ting Tings single. For now.
Until I end up hearing it too often and fly into a musical snob rage
of self righteousness, lock myself into my room, blaring Between
the Buried and Me (what happened to them actually?), shouting at people in my estate that the music industry is dead and generally hating the craic.

I haven't actually watched this video but anyway..Hang it up by the Ting Tings. Oh and aparently there's a sample of Smells Like Teens Spirit in the riff. Haters gonna hate.