Dodgy Film Club: Bitch Slap

Despite the amazing title, this unfortunately falls very much into the dodgy category.. There's a plot in there somewhere (sort of) but if it wasn't for the occasional vague satire on the exploitation genre there isn't much to separate this from a fantasy of a 14 year old with an xbox online gold membership.

There's two busty bitches (no, no, it's cool to call them that, it's empowering, they're taking it back) and one slightly less busty bitch and they basically are looking for, eh, some diamonds or something. And beat the merry bejaysus out of each other at different points. At times the action scenes and backgrounds seem like they've been done for srs and others it looks like an 80s action tv show/90s heavy metal video. Really it's pretty bad and not funny bad, so here's an impromptu drinking game I've just made up.


Drink when:

• There's an innuendo. Not limited to dialogue, placenames count. Also they drop in 'insulting' put down names that make little sense, the best of which being 'Blow White' so you can drink at those too.
• They do the horrifyingly overplayed flashback scenes. That go in reverse chronological order. Go figure.
• Every death. Good luck with that in the 'nameless policeman' slaughter towards the end btw.

There are some terrible lines that are good for a lol, 'Never change who you are' or something like that..and a full body tourettes dude like in Crank 2 who makes some otherwise tiring scenes bearable..