Pop Music I like: Lloyd ft. Andre 3000 - Dedication to my Ex

It's a common misconception amongst my friends, family and many wellwishers that all the music I listen to is played by ugly guys to ugly gys in sweaty rooms where everyone is shouting and generally unkempt. My cousin has referred to all my music from 3rd wave ska through pop punk onto deathcore and back round again as 'wah wah waaahh' music. And 85% of the time these people are right. However, I feel I have to set the record straight somewhat. As I have previously outlined, I enjoy sing-song rap by annoying female pop stars like the new Ting Tings single, and some other stuff too.

This brings me (sort of) to documenting some pop songs I like, starting with 'Dedication To My Ex', which despite it's super fggty title actually has some male chromosones in there as well as some great vocals. I had only heard the clean version but for bonus lols, here's the explicit version, which is wonderfully offensive.

• 00.21 -  Dat Michael Jackson style vocal part
• DEM LYRICS.
• Not quite sure if they're making fun of white ppl with this, hopefully!
• How bitchin' are the backing vox?
• I love the bro just chillin' at the back of the garage who gets some beure grinding on him halfway through.
• 2.27 - Why is the cat rapping? Ohhhh.....
• Andre has got floooow. But I've no idea what he's on about.. 
• Mandatory laugh at the end.

Srsly though, choon.

Is Nicki Minaj trollin' or what's the shtory?

While I'm usually all for infuritating girls who can't quite sing or rap and do a horrible mix of the two Nicki Minaj has taken it to another level with 'Stupid Hoe'.

Good goth, my ears just vomited. Srsly, what is this atrocity? I've been a recovering pop music rageaholic for a while now and actually like a lot of what I hear on the radio to some of extent but this..thiiiiissss.... I'm sucking rageahol straight from the bottle as if it's oxygen.

• The opening 'wooo, wooo, wooo' aghhhffuuuuuuuu
• Wtf is she even saying?
• English, bitch. Use it. Even internet-speak would be okay.
• 00.48 - 00.58 - Humanity is a disease.
• Dat chorus.

I forced myself to listen to the rest of it. I can see myself telling this story to a pyschiatrist some day.

Kerrang tour - Sum 41 = #nofunclub

So not only have Sum 41 pulled out of the upcoming kerrang tour, but their replacements, The Blackout, hold no nostalgic value for me whatsoever and look like they won't be any craic at all. I hope I'm proved wrong.

The Blackout...Srsly though, who invited the maths teacher on the left?

What were the two lads in the matching v necks and leather jacket combo thinking? 'Maybe if we stand apart we won't look like creepy twins from an 80s film'. At least one of them has sweet generic meaningful script tattoo™. They all look like the kind of people you don't want to be stuck with at a party while you wait for your beure to get back from the toilets.

Dead babies, yay! Take that mom!

On the other hand, sum 41. Sure, I've got no idea what this photoshoot was about but at least they don't hate the craic. I really want to be proved wrong.

Dublin band insult dead dj, media outraged into giving them publicity

This story is a goldmine of publicity for the band, the papers, gossipy internet boards and anyone who has even a vague knowledge of the Irish music scene. One of the funniest parts is that one of the lads in the band pulled the t-shirts from the website at first.

The internet being the wonderful place that it is, has already spawned some other versions.

Check out Crows, Chewing on Tinfoil and Starters on their interweb pages, they're all Irish and there's something for everyone..

Is it me or does the new Ting Tings song sound like a rap metal choon?

Anyone who knows me knows my penchant for sing-song rap songs by
female pop stars who desperately want you to believe they are bad role
models (via ke$ha and Millionaires) and my early teenage musical taste
that included rap metal like RATM and Limp Bizkit.

The more infuriating the sing-song rap is to tr00 music fans the
better and therefore I’m loving the new Ting Tings single. For now.
Until I end up hearing it too often and fly into a musical snob rage
of self righteousness, lock myself into my room, blaring Between
the Buried and Me (what happened to them actually?), shouting at people in my estate that the music industry is dead and generally hating the craic.

I haven't actually watched this video but anyway..Hang it up by the Ting Tings. Oh and aparently there's a sample of Smells Like Teens Spirit in the riff. Haters gonna hate.

I had no idea Korn were trying to cash in on dubstep

Late pass for me but when did this happen?! Man, if someone told the teenage me that the whiney bitch of a singer from Korn and the whinier bitch of a singer from From first to Last would work together on a dubstep influenced fggty rock song...well, firstly I would have asked wtf is dubstep and then I would have probably gotten into it. So, bullet dodged there then.

This makes sense in a twisted way, and the ironing will be delicious when both parties hop genres again. Because by the looks of it Korn are, well I don't want to say 'here to stay' for obvs reasons but they don't seem to want to die. Sonny (or Skrillex...ugh..)  on the other hand has already done well off the baffling popularity that screamo had and now has a front seat on the dubstep bandwagon.

• 0.33 - The lads are still super awkward when not playing their open chord dread bang parts.
• Another song about things not being very gooood...
• 1.23 - "I can't wait to rip my eyes out and look at you" - lolwat??
• 2.29 - Shits about to go down...big shhtyle...eh, wait, what do we do here, this is weird offtime dubstep stuff? Jump up and down and shout? I guess....

That was quite the ordeal. I'm wondering why Sonny wasn't in the video, does he have some kind of mystique in dubstep circles where they don't know that he looks like your 15 year old cousin who's going through her emily the strange phase?

Dodgy Film Club: Bitch Slap

Despite the amazing title, this unfortunately falls very much into the dodgy category.. There's a plot in there somewhere (sort of) but if it wasn't for the occasional vague satire on the exploitation genre there isn't much to separate this from a fantasy of a 14 year old with an xbox online gold membership.

There's two busty bitches (no, no, it's cool to call them that, it's empowering, they're taking it back) and one slightly less busty bitch and they basically are looking for, eh, some diamonds or something. And beat the merry bejaysus out of each other at different points. At times the action scenes and backgrounds seem like they've been done for srs and others it looks like an 80s action tv show/90s heavy metal video. Really it's pretty bad and not funny bad, so here's an impromptu drinking game I've just made up.


Drink when:

• There's an innuendo. Not limited to dialogue, placenames count. Also they drop in 'insulting' put down names that make little sense, the best of which being 'Blow White' so you can drink at those too.
• They do the horrifyingly overplayed flashback scenes. That go in reverse chronological order. Go figure.
• Every death. Good luck with that in the 'nameless policeman' slaughter towards the end btw.

There are some terrible lines that are good for a lol, 'Never change who you are' or something like that..and a full body tourettes dude like in Crank 2 who makes some otherwise tiring scenes bearable..