Dodgy Film Club: Thankskilling

Thankskilling is a low budget, self aware horror comedy about five college students on a road trip home for Thanksgiving, who are set upon by a murderous, eh, fowl-mouthed (sorry) Turkey.

Where has this movie been all my life? As much of an homage as a satire, it features a classic set of horror characters, including:

• The Jock (comes with football)
• The Redneck (comes with chin beard)
• The Nerd (comes with health issues)
• The Dumb Slut (comes with sex puns)
• The Good Girl (comes with additional 'Sheriff Dad' character)
• The Weird Old(ish) man (comes with ability to show up at any time)

Here are some highlights and things to expect:

• The opening shot is of an exposed breast, belonging to an inexplicably topless mom-aged blonde woman, in, we are told, 1621.
• Soon after we are introduced to the turkey, who can not only wield an axe, but can also deliver one liners like an anachronistic action movie star. (e.g. the line 'Nice tits, bitch', which is totally the language turkeys in 1621 would use, should they be able to talk)
• Surprisingly little nudity, given the open shot
• Vague Increasingly strong homo-eroticism
• A punk and metal dominated soundtrack for some reason. I mean, it's sweet, but why would these 5 people be listening to it?
• 'Turkeyologists'
• Awful puns!
• Graduates of the Alan Bagh school of acting
• A lead character named Johnny (reference or no?)
• The line 'Gobble gobble, motherfucker'

(Image Source: amazon.com)

Dodgy Film Club: Season of the Witch

A meeting of two actors who seem to have trouble turning down work! Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman are Crusade knights, who are tasked with escorting a ***SPOILER ALERT*** witch demon to a trial by monks. Oh and the witch demon is possibly responsible for the plague.



This was added to our watchlist as it featured on How Did This Get Made? and I may have a bone to pick with the good podcasting folks. Admittedly, they saw it upon its release, but this film doesn't even work as a bad horror movie. Don't get me wrong, it is bad. Highlights include

• Fluctuating accents 
• Historical and cultural inaccuracies
• Ron Perlman playing himself!
• Nic Cage in a glorious wig
• Phrases like 'let's get the hell out of here' and 'shit'..in Crusade times..
• Bad CGI
• Wolves werewolves vampire wolves? with an apparent death wish

Some good old fashioned Crusade-era banter. And hair.

So basically the Church sent these guys to kill all the non believers. Nic Cage is fine with this until he kills some woman and he is suddenly hit with righteous remorse. Nic and Ron leave the army, only to be eventually captured and held in a cell. They then agree to transport the 'girl' (witch/demon) to her trial by monks. There's a demon (satan?) involved, who looks like something out of Doom and sounds like a pantomime villain. In the end religion wins and the plague goes away. Yeah...

On the plus side, Claire Foy, who plays the oddly attractive Adorabelle Dearheart in Going Postal, is 'the girl' and by gods there is just something about her in this too.

Dodgy Film Club: Birdemic 2

  
Ah the sequel.. once upon a time it seemed a rare thing, only used when the character-writing of a film was so good, or the story was so complex that another edition was a must. Of course now, sequels = $$$. So, where does that leave Birdemic 2? Will the sequel make lots of money? It might make some, but I doubt studios were engaged in a bidding war. So maybe it will be a natural progression of the story, that answers the (many, many) questions from the first? I wouldn't hold my breath...
 
Most importantly to me and other fans, would the sequel retain the vision, spirit and energy of the first?
Well, having solved climate change in birdemic, James now turns his attention to Hollywood! (Because, you know, he has made a few films in his time and I think he know's what he's talking about okay?



From the opening scene it's clear that James has decided 'if it's broke but it kinda worked, don't fix it!' Yes, just like in the first movie, there is a painfully long credit sequence, this time documenting some guy walking for 5 minutes (in what looks like real time) through Hollywood. The 'extras' are just people who happen to be on the street and a dramatic wailing siren is actually a real cop car that has nothing to do with the story. Also check out the blurred out movie ads. Besides wondering where the scene/character was going, I was also struck by how many people worked on this monstrosity.

Mr Nguyen puts his personal, clumsy stamp all over this movie and the message is again, as subtle as a brick. We're informed that the best indie movies are those where the director is given complete control and how Hollywood movies are like, sooooo expensive.

There's too much to talk about, so - in bullet form - some of the recurring features from the first film:

• Dodgy news broadcasts
• Creepy dudes chasing blondes down the street
• Awkward human interaction
• Extended clapping/celebration scenes
• Awkward dinner date
• A walk on the beach, complete with terrible, windswept audio
• Terrible graphics
• Awkwardness, so much damn awkwardness
• The unsure doctor/professor -"Don't you know that uh birds are the descendants of uh dinosaurs?
• SUPER awkward dance scene w/black singer singing with no audio/amplification equipment
• Obtrusive mom

But James didn't make a sequel of basically the same movie without some new tricks up his sleeve! New things to look out for include:

• A driving scene that looks like an 80s music video
• Flashbacks to cavemen times
• An underwater scene like nothing you've ever seen before
• Some biting satire of horror movies
• Zombies...

Also: The line where the kid explains how his sister died.

The drinking game, should you need it: Drink on the word 'dead'. Takes a while to get going, but, you'll get there.