Birdemicwas in many ways a masterpiece. With creative visionary James Nguyen (you know, the James Nguyen), a strong message and a cast of hungry, young actors, it is a film that comes close to the brilliance of The Room. So, I should be excited about a sequel, right? Let us consider some pros and/or cons...
Return of Rod/Bagh is Back
That's right, Rod, the all action, all romancing hero from the first film is back! And now he's a big shot something or other. Thankfully Rod was not replaced and all the character development he went through in the first film was not put to waste. Some might say Alan Bagh is one of the finer actors of our generation. His portrayal of Rod, an odd juxtaposition of a confident yet horrifyingly awkward manchild is some of the finest work seen on screen. However, a look at his Twitter account shows that Rod and Alan may not be all that different. Plus we've had some funlightly trolling him in this very blog. Sticking to their guns (or coat hangers) with the CGI
Birdemic 2 seems to follow quite rigidly to the theme/plot and budget of its predecessor. So on the plus side, the awful graphics are back. But on the negative side, the awful bird graphics are back. Maybe I'm judging too quickly without seeing the finished product but I would have liked to see some ridiculous 3D, or even worse graphics. A lot of the lol in the first film is partly due to the shock at just how bad the birds look. Some amazing (or amazingly bad) graphics would have been a real kick in the beak to detractors of the film.
Where are they really going with this?
It's pretty clear that ol' James Nguyen is kinda bummed out about The Man polluting the world through machines run on eagle tears, dead baby seals and so on, but is this sequel going to address these srs issues? Is it going to pick up from the cliffhanger ending of the first? Did they really need to make a second? Will there be a thirdemic?
I don't have the answers..All I know is that I'll be seeing this at the nearest opportunity, with a case of beer and a bucket of clothes hangers.
When Alan Bagh, star of Birdemic: Shock and Terror, added me on Twitter I couldn't resist some light trolling of the man who has committed some of the worst crimes against acting ever caught on camera.
Successful troll is successful
What's even better though, is that there is going to be a sequel. How ballsy is Alan Bagh? Lolololol amazeballs.
Bill is a struggling filmmaker; Gloria is an aspiring actress. Rod, a
Silicon Valley millionaire finances Bill’s film, a dream come true until
eagles and vultures attack Hollywood and its up to Rod, his girlfriend
Nathalie, new friends and old to mount the resistance. Who will survive?
If you haven't seen Birdemic, then check out my post about it hereto get a taste of what it's about.
Blondie is actually laughing. There's nothing funny about your acting career going down the tubes, love.
Once you experience* the rollercoaster* journey* of human emotion that is The Room it’s very hard to find a film that is not only as dodgy and lolworthy but also takes itself seriously. After much searching and several slightly dodgy films, Bridemic: Shock and Terror was chosen. I'm still recovering.
(*I’m thinking of becoming a scriptwriter for ‘reality tv talent shows, just getting the lingo down.)
This is a masterpiece in bad cinema. It seems the brains behind it (James Nguyen) is super concerned about global warming and decided the medium of film was the best way to get the message across. The, eh, plot is that after what feels like a lifetime of awkward converstaion between the characters, they are attacked by some eagles who are pissed off about oil prices. Or something. There are literally too many mistakes and terrible things to mention but they include:
Awful acting without any emotion/dialogue read in monotone
Terrible cuts that have clearly been recorded at different times, resulting in changes in sound quality/background noise
A news report that resembles a school project.
Actually, all the ‘science’ and explanations are lol
Shakey camera-work that ruins any small chance of getting ‘lost’ in the ‘story’
Filer! Filler! Filler! WE GET IT, THEY’RE IN A RESTARAUNT.
‘A date without sex is a date wated’ *thrusting motion*
Awkward gaps and pauses during the ‘phone calls’ that don’t sync up properly
REALLY awkward pauses at the end of scenes that haven’t been edited out
Extennnnded clapping. Srsly, go make a sandwich once they start clapping, it goes on for ages
An Irish bar with that Irish form of Irish musical entertainment: a black soul singer, performing (miming) to a full band track by himself
This, can I just add, is all before the atrocity that are the birds appear in the film, looking like something out of DuckHunt and sounding like a mouse orgy as interpreted by angry dolphins. An as for the ‘attacks’, they really have to be seen to be believed. The characters flail at random (using their motel hangars at weapons...) and the digitally added 2D birds flap ineffectually somewhere around the general vicinity. And all of this because the birds are angry at global warming (or something).
The smell of hippy/film student off the film can be whiffed a mile away, from the clunky suggestions that hybrid cars are great dropped into the script with as much subtley as a petrol bomb, to the embarassing background soundtrack that is clearly a reworking of Imagine by John Lennon ‘written’ by some stoner who had his mind blown when he picked up his shitty acoustic and the ‘music, like, just came to him’ one evening. There’s also a treehugger who looooves trees and eventually leaves the scene when he hears a mountain lion. LOLWAT. Oh yeah, then there’s a forest fire for some reason.
Oh, and the guns do this.
After the birds arrive there are plenty of moments to make you ask HOW DID THIS GET MADE???? including:
CGI fireballs that look like the ones from South Park
The kamikaze fighter pilot sound some of the birds make
The same footage of one bird being shot being used over and over and over again
Unlimited bullets!
Where were they even driving to?
A doctor scientist ornithologist giving a lecture
The two kids pretty much being adopted, no questions asked
I guess James Nguyen has succeeded in creating awareness, through a massive lolfail. The film is meant to be a stark warning and the catlyst to the viewer asking themselves some stern questions about their carbon footprint.
The only questions I was left with was how this got made and how did he manage to get so many hotties involved!?
Srsly, there's so much lolgore and so bad it's funny stuff going on I can't even cover it. Watch it!
