Dodgy Film Club: Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

If you don’t want to watch this film because of the title alone then it’s probably not for you. A kung fu loving Jesus (yes, that Jesus) tries to rid the world of some lesbian vampires, and fights some atheists along the way, with the help of a girl in an atrocious red outfit, and a wrestler..for some reason. (Or something.) Oh and it’s a musical of sorts also.

Some highlights include:

• A thumping euro-techno song in the background while Jesus kicks the asses of about a million atheists who look like they met at a punk/metal club the night before.
• Some great lol action in the fights such as when Jesus uses his superpowers and a leg drop!
• Some of the most hideous women that have ever been filmed, including a GIANT beast in one of the dance numbers. Shudder.
• An 80s style montage when Jesus tries on different outfits and his ladyfriend judges them.
• A talking dessert that is (possibly) God..? I think? 
• An assistant who keeps getting her (his?) ass grabbed

It’s definitely worth a watch if only for the wtf factor. There are so many unanswered questions and plot holes. Jesus was advised to get a haircut and new clothes to blend in..advised by a woman who spends the rest of the film running around in dat red outfit.

The first few fight scenes are pretty amazing but it kinda fades after that. Imagine a load of ‘alternative’ people who were drunk/high and joking about making a film about a kung fu Jesus..And now imagine that it actually got made. That’s pretty much what this is like.