Is it me or does the new Ting Tings song sound like a rap metal choon?

Anyone who knows me knows my penchant for sing-song rap songs by
female pop stars who desperately want you to believe they are bad role
models (via ke$ha and Millionaires) and my early teenage musical taste
that included rap metal like RATM and Limp Bizkit.

The more infuriating the sing-song rap is to tr00 music fans the
better and therefore I’m loving the new Ting Tings single. For now.
Until I end up hearing it too often and fly into a musical snob rage
of self righteousness, lock myself into my room, blaring Between
the Buried and Me (what happened to them actually?), shouting at people in my estate that the music industry is dead and generally hating the craic.

I haven't actually watched this video but anyway..Hang it up by the Ting Tings. Oh and aparently there's a sample of Smells Like Teens Spirit in the riff. Haters gonna hate.

I had no idea Korn were trying to cash in on dubstep

Late pass for me but when did this happen?! Man, if someone told the teenage me that the whiney bitch of a singer from Korn and the whinier bitch of a singer from From first to Last would work together on a dubstep influenced fggty rock song...well, firstly I would have asked wtf is dubstep and then I would have probably gotten into it. So, bullet dodged there then.

This makes sense in a twisted way, and the ironing will be delicious when both parties hop genres again. Because by the looks of it Korn are, well I don't want to say 'here to stay' for obvs reasons but they don't seem to want to die. Sonny (or Skrillex...ugh..)  on the other hand has already done well off the baffling popularity that screamo had and now has a front seat on the dubstep bandwagon.

• 0.33 - The lads are still super awkward when not playing their open chord dread bang parts.
• Another song about things not being very gooood...
• 1.23 - "I can't wait to rip my eyes out and look at you" - lolwat??
• 2.29 - Shits about to go down...big shhtyle...eh, wait, what do we do here, this is weird offtime dubstep stuff? Jump up and down and shout? I guess....

That was quite the ordeal. I'm wondering why Sonny wasn't in the video, does he have some kind of mystique in dubstep circles where they don't know that he looks like your 15 year old cousin who's going through her emily the strange phase?

Dodgy Film Club: Bitch Slap

Despite the amazing title, this unfortunately falls very much into the dodgy category.. There's a plot in there somewhere (sort of) but if it wasn't for the occasional vague satire on the exploitation genre there isn't much to separate this from a fantasy of a 14 year old with an xbox online gold membership.

There's two busty bitches (no, no, it's cool to call them that, it's empowering, they're taking it back) and one slightly less busty bitch and they basically are looking for, eh, some diamonds or something. And beat the merry bejaysus out of each other at different points. At times the action scenes and backgrounds seem like they've been done for srs and others it looks like an 80s action tv show/90s heavy metal video. Really it's pretty bad and not funny bad, so here's an impromptu drinking game I've just made up.


Drink when:

• There's an innuendo. Not limited to dialogue, placenames count. Also they drop in 'insulting' put down names that make little sense, the best of which being 'Blow White' so you can drink at those too.
• They do the horrifyingly overplayed flashback scenes. That go in reverse chronological order. Go figure.
• Every death. Good luck with that in the 'nameless policeman' slaughter towards the end btw.

There are some terrible lines that are good for a lol, 'Never change who you are' or something like that..and a full body tourettes dude like in Crank 2 who makes some otherwise tiring scenes bearable..

What are you doing for New Years Eve?

Whatever it is, I doubt it will be as bitchin' as ICP's New Years Ninja Party, aww yeah! Party poppers, how do they work?!

Zombie Survival Food: Macaroni and Cheese

I haven't been down in the tinned food section of Tesco since I was a student. Now that I've made the transition to intern (and making slightly more than the dole) I splash the cash on fre$h fruit and veg and the likes. But I was there the other day and goddam there's a lot of different food you can get in tins now! It's probably because of the recession and our impending downward spiral into fending for ourselves in the forests of Roscommon or, hopefully, they know something we don't and there's gonna be zombies all up in this bitch. Either way I'm going to try some of this stuff every now and again. Starting off with Mac and Cheese.

Product Detes

• Heinz Macaroni and Cheese
• Costs about 1.30
• Low Fat, apparantly

 Preparation

Simples. Open can. Pour into saucepan. Cook for a few minutes.

You can't beat that 'worms in cat vomit' look of mac and cheese

The Verdict


It's not actualy that bad. Sure, it smells a bit funky and looks horrible but it's edible. There's way too much sauce though and I don't know how much you could eat even if you are holding out from a horde of the undead. 5/10.

Insane Clown Posse get environmental up in this bitch

Like most people I was aware of these ninjas who were put into the same 'outcast' bracket as Slipknot back in the day, but it was only when they released the lolfactory that was Miracles that I truly saw their genius. I follow the lads on twitter and was pretty excited to watch their new video for the song It's All Over!

• Some quality acting in front of the green screen and then one of the best opening lines of all time 'Holy fuck it's hot outside, extra hot!'
• 00.48 - missile get shot overhead and a military helicopter goes by, awww yeahh that's badass ninja!
• The chorus is the most tame, laid back and easy-going piece of music that has every heralded the apocalypse surely? I can see they're going for 'zany' with the scientist guy and nu-metal with the other dude but it's a pop chorus
• 1.19 - (as a building is an inferno in the background) 'It's snowin'..y it not hot outside anymore? It's also hailin' and burnin' up. I'd love if ICP did regular weather updates.
• 1.55 - U uncomfortable being in an ICP vid, bro?
• Around 2.00 there's another list of stuff that are meant to be scary I guess? Fire, Ice, Acid, lightning..Damn nature, you scary!
• 2.23 - Aliens show up...ah now..and here was me thinking they were basing this song on science.
• 2.40 - Oooh a 4.20 reference, keepin' it real to da street.
• 3.20 - Dance moves. There are no words.

It's no miracles but what can ya do?

Some lad does a Wonder Years vocal cover in his basement

While I admire the fact this guy likes both Slipknot and The Wonder Years, this isn't the kind of thing you should be putting on the internet as a CV for your vocal skillz. Some points potential bandmates will have to take into consideration..

• His bitchin' stage moves. Monitor/stomp box required.
• The Slipknot t-shirt - is that the 'look' we're going for with this band, guys?
• He does seem to have lots of gear and a relatively sweet basement to jam and drink beer in, though he probably has to wait until his parents are out before he can 'really rock out'
• Does 'attitude' outweigh 'talent' in terms of requirements for a frontman?
• Dem guest vox - No backing vocalists required!